how much it hurts

I fell for your lie once. Twice. 

If I only could not have to feel your presence every single day of the week. If I could only not smell that gentle perfum of yours, not look inside of your eyes, your brown eyes where I lost my mind. In your brown eyes I walked away. 

And never again I will have faith in you, in your words, in your heart. Because you are nothing but a lie, you are nothing but a mistake in my life. You are nothing more than another one who could only lie.

Above all, it hurts the same. The line between my love and contempt for you, I must say, is tiny. Hurts my chest to know there's nothing I can do but wish you well. I can't understand it, I never will.

If I could get away from the past, if I could pretend it was all only a bad dream. To wake up in the morning and hold you near me. That's all I wish I'd do.

I wish you knew how much it hurts. To be blinded by a pure feeling and stabbed by itself as well. I wish you  get mistaken about someone you had faith in. I wish you have your heart broken.. To know truly how much it hurts. I wish you'd drowned inside of your own lie.

As for me.. I am only in the beginning of one more chapter. 

Tough letting you go has never been so hard.. in your brown eyes I must not, I cannot stay.